Add ability to look for an existing connected record matching a specific criteria

I would find it very useful to be able to look for a connected object matching a specific criteria.

I think it would be great to have this added to the trigger possibilities of a task, such as:

" If there is / isn't a connected record matching these criteria (allow fields comparison between the two objects), then update / create a connected object with the specific fields values. "

I second this... My usage is that people can create an online quote request. The form creates new records. One of the records it creates is a contact record. When the sale process reaches the right point, this contact record will generate as a user account... SO - when someone enters a quote request, i would like my submit rules to be able to identify if the email address in the contact object already exists, and if so, ADD a connected request to that record, and of not create a new contact record

are we asking the same thing?

AND IF SO - i get the sneaking suspicion someone may know a recipe for achieving this already....?